By Shirley Shropshire, MS, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate
It’s that time again parents, from never ending school supply lists to meet the teacher events, the signs of impending school days are all around. The beginning of school marks the transition from summer leisure to routine and structured time. While the transition back to school is unavoidable for families, having a plan can help. Here are some tips for making the transition easier:
- Bed Times Some kids struggle to readjust to earlier bedtimes before school. Taper bedtimes by 30 minutes to one hour every 5-7 days until the desired time is reached. This may mean starting weeks in advance if your child is used to staying up late. Use the same rule for the morning. Wake them up 30 minutes to one hour earlier every 5-7 days until the desired time is reached.
- Routine Children benefit from having routines built into their schedule. For example, have a bath time followed by calming activities. Over time, your child will understand that bath time is a signal to slow down in preparation for bedtime. Imagine getting up everyday and not knowing what is going to happen from one moment to the next. Sound uncomfortable? This is why routines help children, they allow children to have some idea of what is going to happen.
- Friend Talk Regardless of whether your child is in kindergarten or high school, it is always a good idea to have open communication about their friends. As a parent, your wisdom and values are important information for your child. If your child is accustom to having discussion with you, they are more likely to let you know when they are having issues. You are less likely to look like your are being nosy if it is something you do regularly.
- Use the Commute Seize the time you spend commuting to check in with your child about school, friends, and upcoming events. Guess what? They can’t get out of the conversation, so take advantage. Turn down the radio, put your phone on silent, and use your commute as an opportunity to connect.
- Family Meals Whether it is a night out, dinner at the family table, or just standing around in your kitchen, having meals together is important. No, it doesn’t have to be everyday. Every family is different, but having meals together provides time to communicate, connect, and support one another. It sends the message that no matter how busy a family can be, slowing down to just be together is a priority. In other words, family matters!
- Peaks and Valleys Ask your child about the peaks or best parts of their day. Vice versa, also ask about the valleys or low points. The benefit is that you get invaluable information about what your child is thinking and feeling, plus it gives you an opportunity to be supportive. In essence, find a way to express to them how their feelings are understandable in their situation. Developmentally, children are often focused on their own experience. They focus stories around themselves, without always considering others. In a peak and valley conversation, expand your child’s ideas by asking them how others might think or feel in their story. The added benefit is that you can help increase your child’s emotional intelligence and empathy!