By Shirley Shropshire, MS, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate

I previously published a blog about how to choose a couple therapist.  Since this is a subject close to my heart, and constantly comes up in my discussions with other therapists, I thought it needed more attention.

The most frightening discovery I have observed in learning how people search for therapy is realizing that people search for “free” couple therapy. Cue the record scratch. What?

The ways in which people search for and access therapy have evolved recently as telehealth services have increased, meaning you can work with someone online in a different location, so you have more choice.  While this may work for some couples, you should consider if this is an appropriate fit for you.

I opened a private practice that has the ability to offer relationship counseling to people in more rural and suburban areas based on location.  Why? Because I believe true relational services are lacking for people in these areas.  I have the ability to bring research based relationship treatment to couples and families who would traditionally have to travel to large cities for specialized treatment.  I love what I do, and that I can provide these services!

Some people like therapy in a private practice setting close to home, and some do not mind using video counseling or traveling to urban areas.  I see more and more therapists offering video counseling services, but potential clients should consider which mode of service will best fit their needs.  Personally, I prefer to hear a sigh, ask about a deep gaze, or question a scrunched brow as it unfolds before my eyes.  All these things are clues to deeper experience and exchanges between partners that I could miss if the couple were not sitting directly in front of me, or a therapeutic moment is temporarily glitched on a computer screen, or someone moves away from their computer camera for a second.  For some, video counseling services expand the ability of people to receive therapy in remote locations or those who don’t have the flexibility in their schedule to seek face-to-face service.  Video counseling versus face-to-face service is just one point to consider in couple counseling.  There are so many things to consider! Here are some quick tips to keep in mind.

Do search for a couple counselor by:

1. Searching for someone who:
   • specializes in work with couples.
   • dedicates all or a large part of their practice to work with couples.
   • emphasizes relationships in their practice.
   • has clinical experience with couples and families, meaning they have been trained to understand relational dynamics.
   • shows they understand some of the issues that occur in couple relationships because they clearly discuss the issues on their website or other platform.
2. Searching the therapist’s website for credentials, couple training, and experience.
3. Considering what their blog says about their practice.
4. Reading the therapist’s website.
5. Finding a therapist you feel you can relate to.
6. Deciding if your needs would be served best by in-person service versus video counseling service.
7. Asking about scheduling, appointment reminders, and technological conveniences.  Some therapists use online platforms that make scheduling, payment, and communication simple.  Other counselors use paper based systems and may not be as flexible with scheduling options.
8. Calling a potential therapist or three, and asking questions.  The conversation could be enough to help you make a decision.
9. Recognizing that counseling is a business, smaller practices may not have someone available 24/7 to answer a phone.  While this may not be convenient for you, it can also mean that the rate you pay reflects this, or maybe not.
10. Asking about scheduling.  Some practices are limited in their ability to change appointments, so if you are a couple where one partner works a shift schedule it could interfere with your ability to schedule at the same time every week.  Standing appointments are appointments at the same time and day every week.  Some practices only offer standing appointments, so ask if a practice can accommodate rotating or non-standing appointments.
11. Considering therapy as an investment and weighing the cost versus benefit.

Don’t search for a couple counselor by:

1. Choosing a therapist that adds “couples” to a long list of clinical issues they treat, the person may not be a specialist.
2. Choosing a therapist that does not specifically express, state, or show training in couple therapy.
3. Assuming that your individual therapist is equally qualified to treat couples.  People may develop trust with their individual counselor and then seek to use the “trusted” counselor for other issues, without knowing if the counselor is specifically trained to work with couples.
4. Choosing someone because they are inexpensive or expensive, price does not always reflect quality in either direction.  Some inexpensive therapists are well trained, some not.  Some expensive therapists are well trained, some not.
5. Searching for “free” therapy.  If you were purchasing a house, would you start by searching for a free one?  Probably not.

Tired of searching?

Contact Foundations Couple and Family Therapy to start a new journey in your relationship with couple counseling.

Read more about Shirley Shropshire, MS, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate and her training.

Learn more about reasons couples seek counseling on our website.